The Art of Being Beautiful

I took a bit of a break from blogging as I was working on my self, but I'm happy to be back!

Can someone please tell me what being a feminist means and why there is such controversy about it? I mean what does it actually mean? I'm pro men, women, people in general but I still call myself a feminist because I believe in equality for all. I mean I suppose if there was a term called 'masculist' or something of that nature I'd be all for that also.



But there isn't.

Maybe it's because there was never a need for a word to describe a man who stuck up for himself?

Being a feminist has nothing to do with the art of being beautiful (or does it?), but I thought I'd preface my blog with that.

Beauty seems to be redefined all the time. It, like many other things is cyclical but at no time since the renaissance era ended has 'fat' ever been considered beautiful (until now I suppose as we are making great strides here).  I know I'm not the first woman to secretly wish we just had permission to love our fat. I know I'm not the first woman who secretly wished someone thought I was beautiful despite my rolls and stretch marks and still wanted to paint me, I mean who doesn't want that? (I really don't want that).



Also, let me say that I do not use the term fat in a derogatory way. I use the term fat as the media and society uses the word fat because it's a word that we women and girls use too often to describe ourselves, and although we'd like to say to the outside world that we don't, inside I know that we do.

Seriously though, it has been ingrained in my head every since I was a child that fat is unattractive. That fat means you are lazy. That fat people miss opportunities. This of course has always made me super aware of my weight and my looks in general and I've obsessed about my value and worth based on these two things for as long as I can remember.

Growing up I had a very slender mother and a very slender grandmother (who had big boobs as she always liked to point out). People would meet my mother would assume my mother was another mother because how could my slender mother actually be my mother (I know sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud). I always wanted to be as slender and as beautiful as them and yet I could never get there.  I have spent almost 40 years of my freaking life trying to get there!



I have not owned a bathroom scale in almost 4 years. I made this decision because I recognized that when I weighed myself every morning (as my big boobed grandmother had advised) it essentially but this depressing damper over the rest of my day. Every. Day. There was also a day when I picked my young daughter up from kindergarten and she proceeded to tell me that one of her teachers was fat. It was in that moment and after an accumulation of things that I decided my daughter was never going to value herself or anyone else based upon a number on a scale, and so away it went.

I want to clear up a few misconceptions.

I mean there are a ton of misconceptions out there but these are the ones that make me the most crazy.

** Fat people just need to work out.
** Fat people sit around all day.
** Fat people like Cheetos and donuts.

This is horse shit.

Yes there are fat people who do those things. There are also skinny people who do those things.

When I was training to be a police officer and was at my absolute fittest I was still 'fat'. I trained 5-6 days a week, I ran a half-marathon and I ate clean food (and not gobs of it!). I felt incredible to be honest. My mind was clear, I was focused and I was determined, but I was still fat (P.S. I am an advocate of physical fitness).

Healthy and skinny are not words that need to be used in correlation with each other.



This is the thing.

I will never have a thigh gap.
You will never see my hip bones.
I will always have boobs that are too small or too big.
I will always have an ass that's too wide or too flat.

It is not easy to avoid the media or shelter our children from the media. As soon as we turn off the media we face society and both of those mediums are a constant reminder to us as to what is considered beautiful or not. So instead of trying to avoid it or shelter ourselves from it lets stand against it and lets change it.

Kudos to women like Ashley Graham, Rebel Wilson, Christy Metz and Breek Warren for having the confidence to stand in their bodies and project their beauty to the world.

You see all people.. thin.. fat.. any gender, any colour, any religion can be beautiful people. (I say can be because lets face it.. all of those people can be assholes too.)

You have the permission to love yourself! Take care of your body, soul, and mind the way YOU need to take care of it!  Concern yourself with how you are treating others and what you are giving back as an individual contributor to this world and stop worrying about the number on your jeans!

We can do this together.

Stay Beautiful.

Comments

Popular Posts